There is so much in anyone’s life that can bring so much stress and confusion. I think what it all comes down to is our constant anxiety around what others think or expect out of us. Even institutions or ideas can bring about certain responsibilities.
Right now, one thing I’m trying to achieve is a good university average. Why? To tell the university that I’m good enough. To tell others that I’m smart enough. To tell the government that I won’t rely on their loans if I keep attaining my average.
But not for me.
I thought about this the other day. I thought about why I’m in school, why I stress over it, and why I keep fighting for simple numbers on a transcript. My goal isn’t even to graduate. I realized that that’s something just expected out of it. I never deemed that something that I personally wanted to achieve. I’ve been riding on whatever boat that society, the government, my family, my circumstances, and my preconceived ideas of success put my on. I don’t try to alter the sail. I don’t try to pull the ore. Not enough, that is.
That isn’t to say I won’t graduate – or try to, that is. It still a stepping stone to what I really want my future to look like.
But in everything you do, find the you in it. Find what inspires you, what you love about it, what drives you to continue down that road with eagerness. If there is no hop in your step, then you have to reanalyze what you’re doing. Ask why you’re doing it. Is it for others? Is it because you didn’t think of any other options? Is it because you’re afraid to try anything else? Anything not mainstream?
But in our day-to-day lives, it’s hard to feel excited. Emails, meetings, cleaning, lectures, papers, cooking, buying, selling…. there’s a lot to do. Not everything is fun at face value. I invite you to discover why you’re doing what you do. Other than “it will project me further into my career”…. I call bullshit.
Emails – valuable communication
Meetings, lectures, papers – inspiration, education
Cleaning, cooking – things to take care of my mind and body
Finances – take only what you need, give the rest to those less fortunate
Don’t do things just because it’s expected. Do it because you love it and because it’s good for YOU.