I remember when we first talked. I was actually far more interested in the guy you were with – he was the better-looking one. I knew who your dad was and I knew you were polite and nice. That didn’t stand out, but I grew to realize it more and more.
So we talked that summer at a camp. A different guy was messing with me, telling me that something in the schedule was wrong to try to screw me up. I turned to you, “Your name’s Sam, right?” and “Is this schedule correct?” You were nearly taken aback; you didn’t know what to say at first. Later I’d learn that you had feelings for me far before I knew your name.
You held the door open, you made silly jokes, you pointed at your periodic table t-shirt that spelled out “BaCoN”. It was funny then. Everything was funny then. We had no worries; we only had things to look forward to. I’d like to say I’m young now, but looking back, we knew nothing about the world we would encounter, the world we’d make for ourselves.
We got to talking about the impossible things in life, things that teenagers didn’t really do, things they only dreamed of. But then we did them – most of them, that is.
Before everything went to chaos, before I broke you and then you broke me, everything was great. And I wondered time and time again if there was something I could change that would reverse every bad thing that ever happened between us. I can’t pinpoint the moment it all went to shit. I gave up trying to figure it out. Now, all I know is that we had it good.
So, I wouldn’t do anything differently (except maybe try to appreciate you more when I had you). I’d just like to relive the first moments, when no speck of dirt lay on our unscathed bodies. I’d like to relive our first kiss, one of those overly-ambitious, wet, weird kisses that young teenagers first do. I’d like to relive our first movie; I thought it was crazy that we were in your dark basement and you had your arm around me. I’d like to relive meeting you. My eyes were on the other guy, but if I could redo it, I’d look directly at you. I’d never miss the chance to look into your eyes again.