You’ve been lying in bed for a week. You feel the old sweat, gritty between your toes, because the hot, spring sun has been shining on your bed. You try to justify it: I’m sad, I need time, I have all these problems, he doesn’t love me, so I don’t love the world… It’s not working, darling.
Because eventually you pull out your laptop. You rearrange yourself on the dirty sheets and breathe a couple of fresh breaths by mistake. You pull up everything: Insta, Facebook, Twitter… And you see everyone living. They’re living. How could they be living like that when you’ve been in bed all week?
Your friend in Tennessee is on break from college and is reunited with her niece; they’re hugging in a photo. Smiling. Your gorgeous and athletic friend from high school is all dressed up for whatever – you don’t really know. She never dresses up. She looks great. You remember your hair that is in disarray and your unshaven legs. You keep scrolling. Oh, that’s right; your friend messages you a typical airplane shot of the clouds – he landed in England today. How good their lives must be. How happy you are for them.
You realize that no one missed your absence. You’re a very small portion of this world. Granted, every drop in the ocean was necessary to make it so big, but you don’t miss the drop when someone else drinks it. Not many people are gonna beg you to come back, to go outside and feel the sunlight – not just the heat of it.
The world keeps living, even when you decide not to. But look outside, I beg you. Look and see that the world is showing off all that is has, trying to get you to be a part of it. It’s worth the risk to see what it’d be like.