Crush

I have this knack for falling in love with things and people I can’t have. Maybe I’m so obsessed with fantasy that I get tired of reality. Maybe I’ve given up at such an early age. But I swear, you made me feel more alive than I have been in… years. 5 days – not even full days – of seeing you. You went from someone I knew to someone I longed for. Enough so that I’ve dreamed about you. I think about you daily. And though you’re a world away, I still try to be someone that you could possibly want to try for, too. We all look for romantic love, something that makes us feel forever young and beautiful. I’d given up on it, but maybe because you’re younger, maybe because you’re just more positive, you gave me a chance to see that again. I think about your smile and your laugh and your fascination with people. I don’t know you, but I really wish I could. I really wish I could see the world from your eyes. I just want a happy ending. 5 days and we had so many inside jokes. 5 days and you knew how to make me smile and laugh – something no one since my ex knew how to do. 5 days and you learned to appreciate my thrashing power but to realize I’m not always right and I just need to relax. 5 days and you were the first boy I’ve fallen for in 3 and a half years. And now I have to wait to see you again. And even then I know you’ll only be going away again, halfway across the country south of my own. What does it all mean? Why do I fall for the wrong things?

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