New Girl

You’re saying “only” this new girl

as if you didn’t love me,

as if you didn’t beg for me to just look at you,

as if it wasn’t us against the world

in a little engineering room.

You’re saying “only”

because you’ve blocked me outta your memory,

some image of us in a self-contained factory,

burning coal and self-respect in a melting pot disaster.

I didn’t wanna be a slave so I tried to be a master,

but then found that what I actually wanted was for this to end faster

because love doesn’t last that long anyway.

I learned that as a kid, as a child runaway,

and the days grow longer but the nights are fleeting,

so how do you feel like winning all the time when you’re just defeating

the notion that we fucked up and moved on and now we’re crawling back on torn limbs.

The songs still play and the cars still drive.

It’s been a while since I’ve felt alive,

but it’s not because of you.

You weren’t my “only”.

And now I’m not yours.

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