I am still trying to figure out where my looks play into my life.
All my life I’ve been complimented, told I was the pretty one, and in a way it became a role that I had to fill. I have to look good at every event. And to be fair, I’ve always enjoyed fashion and makeup (though I am horrendous with hair), and so it’s not completely a chore.
But I’ve also been told not to be vain. That looks are something that can mask me. That looks can make me seem shallow and unintelligent. That looks can define me into a person I am not.
I am now a founder of my own company and I am meeting important people who can help my business grow and thrive. They’re mostly men. And in my experience with men, they tend to like me for my looks… and THEN the fact that I have a decent personality (sometimes). It’s my looks that attract them at first and it’s my looks that make them think certain things of me.
So do I play it up? Do I try to win over the younger business men by looking attractive and wanting to be in their presence? Or do I play it down so they can take me more seriously so as not to appear to be a naive little girl who has dreams too big for her pretty little head?
I want to be the pretty smart girl. Not that any other type of girl is invalid or worth less. But I’ve always been that girl. And I don’t want to have to change it or morph into something I’m not as comfortable in just because I’m in a male-dominated field.