Hiatus

Though this is primarily my poetry blog, it started off as a personal blog, so I feel validated enough to write some of my thoughts down here. So I haven’t been posting a lot. Well… I haven’t been writing a lot. And there are a number of reasons why. I study English Literature and Creative…

Temple

If you look inside of you, you should not see the remains of a former lover, a man who once gripped your arm and sewed your lips shut with his. His hollow mind should not encapsulate your skull, one that could be brilliant. You should not see a coward, a girl who is afraid of…

Accuracy

– when you’re told to listen to chill music when all you wanna do is scream to anthems. – when you’re told to lay down in bed or in a bath when all you wanna do is sprint or climb a mountain or punch anything – everything. – when you’re told to breathe slower when…

Orlando

Can the pounding of their hearts grow louder than your gunshots? Hearts that have beat for centuries, hearts that waged wars quieter than your blows, softer than the kisses, and heavier than your guilt. Do not speak of liberty floating free when your own blood has rusted and lays in chunks beneath your lungs. You…

What Anxiety Has Done FOR Me

I had coffee today, which spikes my anxiety, which was a bad decision obviously. And though anxiety sucks ass, it forces me to shift my perspective. Anxiety is a way of thinking that leads you to think of the worst-case-scenario. It’s so easy to just go, “Yea, my anxiety sounds right. I definitely fucked up….

How to Actually Overcome Fear

A while ago, I told a little story about my time on a flight leaving Helsinki and the kids that treated the turbulence like a roller coaster. Their perspective of the situation really aided the not-so-few of us on the flight that were overwhelmed and panicky about the turbulence. The story I told really focused…

New Girl

You’re saying “only” this new girl as if you didn’t love me, as if you didn’t beg for me to just look at you, as if it wasn’t us against the world in a little engineering room. You’re saying “only” because you’ve blocked me outta your memory, some image of us in a self-contained factory,…

“Yes”

It’s a simple word, but the only one that opens doors to opportunities you wouldn’t otherwise experience. Considering I’m an introvert and already lack ‘alone time’, it’s extremely easy to put off plans and to tell people that I’m too busy. Lately I’ve been facing a lot of distance from my friends, though, and the…

New Years Rant

Happy New Year!!! It’s approximately 4 a.m. and I’ve been up nearly 24 hours and I’m still a little drunk while writing this. Good start. In short, my new years kiss never showed up, which led me into a whirlwind of harmful memories of past lovers and then some even more harmful self-shaming thoughts. Amid…

Optimistic Post #mentalhealth

So even though I mention anxiety (a lot) and though the end of this semester was a little emotional for me, I’ve overcome a lot and made a lot of progress that I’m very proud of. Sometimes I forget just how far I’ve come because, well, day-to-day life will do that to ya. Oftentimes when…

My New Years Resolutions

Travel. Somewhere. Anywhere. Just go away for a bit. Find peace… again. Anxiety’s a constant battle, but I’ve made a lot of headway this past year. I just want to find a deeper sense of peace and serenity. Do yoga or pilates or something. I don’t have to lose any weight or anything, but I…

Dear 18

I try to write you in so many ways, in tears, in loves, and in poems. 365 days, and yet nothing really to show for them. Except maybe a little more faith in love, and a little more faith in me, a little more faith in Him above, and a little more faith in being…